But that’s fine. It becomes increasingly clear that acting like a tit is the whole point of improv, and these games are designed to show everyone that, hey – your fellow improvisers are being just as silly as you! When I’m called out to improvise five things to do with a lion, my panicky fifth example – riding an invisible beast, waving a hat in the air and whooping like a cowboy – is met with actual applause. I feel like Laurence Olivier, dahhhling.
And I’m not alone: over the course of the next hour and 15 minutes, working in small groups as well as per forming in front of the assembled class, each per former is treated with good humour by the audience. We’re all in the same boat, after all. It’s an amazingly inclusive environment: translations are given at all points, and games that involve speaking are per formed in both English and Chinese. I even see a couple of people using sign language.
As the workshop progresses, I begin to understand how per formers get their stage confidence: if you can imagine yourself riding a lion, you can imagine the audience joining in. And, if you imagine it well enough, they will. Remember: if you’re already laughing at yourself, then the world can only laugh along. James Wilkinson
Classes run 8-9.30pm every Wed. Free.
With a well-deserved white belt around my waist (white is the colour for novices), I start warming up. Despite the’ twee names of the exercises – highlights include ‘the shrimp’ and ‘the crab’ – this is hard work: I find myself using muscles that I didn’t know existed. Next, I’m taught what is known as ‘Jiujitsu 101’; how to defend and escape 1from your attacker. Faced with a man twice my size, I learn how to break an arm in three seconds just by shifting my weight a certain way, and how to keep my attacker away from my neck at all costs. To finish, we swap roles so that I can do some attacking, but Andy’s requests for me to ‘mount’ my partner are more embarrassing than I let on. Still, I walk away with a better awareness of my physical capabilities, even if I don’t think that I am quite ready for any competitions just yet.Naomi Christie
Classes run 8-10pm Mon-Wed and Fri-Sat. 680RMB a month. Classes in English and Chinese.
DEAL! Get ten per cent off your first month when you book from Friday 1-August 31 and mention Time Out!
Zen meditation has the lofty goal of allowing all sentient beings to achieve nirvana, the state of oneness that comes from casting off one’s sense of self, through rigorous meditation. But with deadlines hanging over my head like a dark and brooding summer storm, spending a Thursday evening sitting in solemn silence sounded like a tedious, maddening waste of valuable time.
However, as I quickly discovered, meditation could be the ideal antidote to a hectic working week. When your goal for the next half an hour is to focus mentally and physically on the experience of sitting cross-legged on a tiny, stiff cushion, your mind has no option but to switch down a gear.
An important part of the procedure is to accept ‘the noise of the mind’ and let it go. As someone whose brain usually buzzes like a broken radio receiving static-filled programmes on food, sex and The Twilight Zone, this struck a chord. So, too, did the physical exercises, especially one that involved shuffling around the room at a snail’s pace to experience the sensation of movement rather than the process of walking. Surprisingly, the half-time break was actually an unwelcome interruption.
Teacher Wang then talked through some Zen philosophy, particularly the importance of wishing good upon all men. Leaving my first class on Zen meditation, I felt invigorated and in fine form, but with the vague notion that the whole experience might also just have been but a flight of fancy. David Drakeford
For bookings, call 6432 9341. 10.30-11.30am, 7.30-9.30pm every Thur. 120RMB mornings; 150RMB evenings (member discount available).
DEAL! Get 20 per cent off Zen classes from Thursday 7-August 25 when you mention Time Out!
I’m at the Beijing Sailing Center’s (BSC) clubhouse in Qinhuangdao when Libby, my sailing instructor, hands me a wetsuit: ‘We don’t plan on getting wet today, but just in case...’ She’s joking, but I feel a little apprehensive. The art of sailing might have been around for millennia now – the earliest known image of a sailboat was made in 5,000BC, I am told – but this is still a case of sink or sail.
Libby spends the next 20 minutes going through the different parts of our boat. It’s not that complicated; the sail is hoisted between the mast and the ‘boom’ – a horizontal pole – and the rudder is controlled with a stick call ‘the tiller’. ‘Always remember to face the boat at the wind or it gets messy,’ she says. I soon discover why: the sail catches the wind like laundry left out in a storm. After a few drills, we spend the next hour in the marina weaving between two buoys. Eventually, Libby takes us outside the wading area so she can show me some real sailing chops.
It is pure exhilaration. The waves are rough and each makes our world tilt and turn. As Libby lets out a rousing yell, I begin to comprehend the true appeal of sailing: it’s the speed, the spirit of adventure and the chance to hold the forces of nature on reins. And, out on this scenic water front, it’s a spectacular affair. Just don’t expect to go home looking dainty. Benjamin Ho
What we learned: It’s a life on the ocean wave for us!
Beijing Sailing Center Sailing instruction begins at 1,900RMB per person for a two-day course.
DEAL! Get ten per cent off your first standard sailing course from Friday 1-August 31 when you mention Time Out!
When I first signed up for bar tending class, I thought: Yes! Finally, I can learn some bottle-juggling stunts to show off! But how wrong I was; it seems that making a great cocktail and putting on a performance rarely go together. ‘I respect flair bar tending,’ says Anthony, my teacher for the session, using the lingo pros apply to the ostentatious displays seen behind some bars. ‘But I’ll go somewhere else for a drink after the show.’
Instead, he says, I should focus on making my drinks taste good. After being introduced to the basic bar tending tools and given fresh, quality ingredients (the core of any great cocktail), Anthony shows me how to shake: a firm, unshowy movement that makes a huge difference to the final drink.
Anthony emphasises that bartending is an art of balancing. As in cooking, the ingredients go together to achieve a harmonious taste. This is why I’m given ‘the Daisy Template’, a document designed to prompt novices to create a range of well-balanced drinks within one particular cocktail category. One and a half fl oz spirit, 0.75 fl oz sour (lime, lemon etc), 0.5 fl oz sweet (sugar etc) and 0.25 fl oz cordial (triple sec, any sweet alcohol), it tells me.After practising my newfound skills, I am awarded a set of bar tending tools and generous praise from Anthony that fills me with zest (all right, maybe the cocktails helped...).
If not for my modest nature, bar tenders would have to watch out – I’d be their worst nightmare! Chew Mingyi
What we learned: Good bar tending is as much a science as an art.
DEAL! Get ten per cent off a six-lesson package beginning in July when you mention Time Out!
6-8pm Friday 22; lessons continue every third Friday of the month. 588RMB six lessons; 120RMB one lesson. Max 12 people per class.
It’s always been my ambition to sing – I know I’m never going to be Whitney Houston, but if I could hold a note at least once in a while...
And that’s where Jess Meider comes in. An instructor at the Contemporary Music Academy in Tongzhou, Jess also offers private one-to-one lessons for everyone from pro singers to beginners like me.
I learn to inhale slowly to get the maximum amount of air into my chest. Meanwhile, Jess corrects my posture to open my lungs out. This is the first stage in what she calls her ‘vocal gong fu’ technique. Just like mastering martial arts, Jess believes that, to sing well, you need to gain awareness of your body. Once I’ve got my breathing in order, Jess leads me through some vocal exercises and scales, accompanying me on guitar.
By the end of the half hour, my voice has reached pitches and decibel levels I never thought possible. Better still, we’ve recorded the lesson so I can practise on my own at home. As one song puts it: things can only get better. Gabrielle Jaffe
What we learned: To hold a note, first learn to hold your body in the correct position.
Private lessons by arrangement; email jessmeider@gmail.com. 200RMB per half-hour class.
An Ni enters the classroom wearing a traditional Chinese qipao and bright red lipstick. The combination of popular make-up and traditional costume sums up her role – to present Chinese painting in a modern way. She begins by introducing the five basic painting tools: brush, ink, paper, pigment and paperweight.
An started out as an oil painter before becoming fascinated by Chinese painting and the principles that separate it from Western oils. ‘You need to recognise that balance, symmetry, relation and composition are four key factors in Chinese painting,’ she says.
After being given a rough knowledge of Chinese painting, my first step is to learn to draw simple, natural objects such as plum blossoms, chrysanthemums, bamboo and orchids. By getting to grips with these four plants, I learn the core skills of Chinese painting, such as how to manage the thickness of my lines. Only then will I have the ability and confidence to draw people or landscapes.
But, as An explains, skills are not the most important part of Chinese painting; far more fundamental is to approach the paper with a quiet mind and understand the harmony and philosophy of Chinese culture. That knowledge is what led to Qi Baishi creating paintings worth 420 million RMB. Could you be next? Gissing Liu
What we learned: A still mind is the secret to a steady brush.
Classes run 7-8.30pm every Wed. 200RMB per class.
DEAL! Bag 20 per cent off by mentioning Time Out when you book your first painting class from Friday 1-August 31!
It may be ‘the way of the samurai’, but the first thing you’ll learn in kendo isn’t actually how to swing your sword – it’s how to bow. Kendo, you see, is about much more than sword fighting; it’s a discipline that formed the core of Japanese culture, and is a way of life as much as it is a martial art.
After perfecting my bow (a 30-degree angle towards the teacher, or sensei, and again towards the classroom, or dojo), I am given a sword. Thankfully for both my sensei and the practice dummy, the sword is made from bamboo, not metal – nevertheless, I must treat it respectfully, like a real sword, by carrying it in my left hand and not leaning on it. A sword is the spirit of a samurai, after all.
Now the battle begins, but it’s less like a high-octane gong fu action film than I would have hoped; instead, combatants must shuffle quickly forwards and backwards, keeping the left foot forwards at all times to lean into an attack. And, to prove that I know what I’m doing, I have to call out the body part I want to hit before I do it – that’s how points are scored, and it’s also how confidence is maintained. But kendo is more than just a sport – it’s about the core values at the heart of Japanese culture, and an extraordinary way to build character. Cecilia Wu
What we learned: Changing the way you hold a sword can change your personality.
Classes run daily but times vary; for schedule, see website. 600RMB one month, 1,400RMB three months, 4,000RMB one year.
DEAL! Mention Time Out to get 15 per cent off six months or one year of tuition fees from Friday 1-August 31!
Like many people, I want to get fit but find the treadmill a turn off. There’s nothing more tedious than running nowhere for an hour. Thank goodness, then, for dancing, which burns off the calories without melting my brain. Beijing is home to a myriad of dance classes of course – everything from ballet to belly dancing is represented in our fair city – but right now flamenco is the hottest style for summer. This centuries-old Spanish song and dance form, popularised in the 1990s by sexy Spaniard Joaquin Cortes (aka the king of Flamenco), turns expressive arm movements, rhythmic stomping, clapping and, occasionally, castanets, into a healthy hobby.
In my first lesson, I am shown the basic footwork – a series of steps that rely on tapping and stamping of the feet – which I practise over and over again at increasing speed. Unless you have two left feet, they are surprisingly straightforward, but things get tricky when I try to get my arms to move in big, sweeping circles. Make no mistake: those fiery flamenco movements look and feel absolutely fabulous, but coordinating them with footwork and facial expressions requires a hell of a lot of concentration.
However, while the flamenco technique and tempo are challenging to master, this sensual Spanish dance is clearly a great way to increase stamina, improve posture and stay in shape – while putting a huge smile on your face. Kaye Holland
What we learned: Flamenco dancing is open to everyone of every age and shape; you don’t even need a partner.
Beginners: 7-8.30pm Tue; 7-8.30pm Wed; 11am-12.30pm Thur; 2.30-4pm Fri; 10-11.30am Sat; 5.30-7pm Sun. 150RMB per 90-minute class.
DEAL! Drop Time Out's name when booking to get five flamenco classes for just 600RMB from Friday 1-August 31.
I rather fancy the idea of eating like royalty, so whipping up food fit for an emperor is right up my hutong. Thankfully, Black Sesame kitchen has modernised some aspects of imperial cuisine, which originated in the Forbidden City during the Qing Dynasty. The ingredients, in particular, have changed: camel hump is thrown out in favour of pork;venison is replaced by beef; while fried shiitake mushrooms are a veggie alternative to eel.
Chef Zhang Aifeng – who has 11 years of imperial cuisine experience – takes the lead, while Black Sesame’s cheery manager, Candice, provides explanations in English. The class, set in a cosy and clean kitchen hidden down an unmarked courtyard off Nanluoguxiang, is a mixture of hands-on prep work and demonstration.
It begins with a lesson in ingredients: we learn the difference between light and dark soy sauce (the former is used for flavour; the latter for colour) and how to use sesame oil as a seasoning. There then follows a crash course in knife skills using the ubiquitous – and frankly terrifying – Chinese kitchen knife. It may look like a prop from Scream, but, we soon discover, used right it is also pretty nifty for crushing garlic.
After rewarding hard graft prepping the ingredients, we settle back to watch Zhang work his magic with the wok. The lesson soon results in a delicious and hot three-course meal. Imperial cuisine is certainly more intimidating than home-style cooking, but the results are truly fabulous. Clarissa Sebag-Montefiore
What we learned: You don’t have to spend like a king to eat like an emperor.
DEAL! Get ten per cent off a private class for six to ten people from Friday 1-August 31 when you mention Time Out!
This month’s class runs 1-4pm Sat 23. 300RMB.
My ego tells me that a writers’ group really ought to be the last thing a journalist needs. But the truth is that even published writers such as Fight Club’s Chuck Palahniuk still attend groups like this – after all, if you’ve spent hours struggling over a piece, then it’s easy to get lost in the details. And, as my contribution to this session is a short story, an area that I’ve never explored before, I really do need the help.
The structure here is for each person to hand over copies of their work to the group – all of whom are themselves writers, either professional or budding – who then read and debate it, while the author listens silently. Discussing the work is actually quite fun, if a touch uncomfor table at first, and dissecting why you aren’t engaging with a piece is a good way of working out what does and doesn’t work in a story.
It’s my turn soon enough. And, boy, it’s difficult to remain silent when someone’s poking at your work right in front of you. But, after being politely shushed a few times, I catch on and listen in fascination to their polite but honest discussion. And you know what? A lot of the points they make are actually spot on, and the kind of things I’d say if the piece was written by someone else. The experience is humbling but hugely encouraging – seeing other writers go through the same procedure reaffirms how much we all have to learn, and how much we have to teach. James Wilkinson
What we learned
Nobody’s perfect, but sharing your imperfections really helps everyone improve.
7.30-9.30pm every Mon. Free.
‘You can have a helmet if you want,’ says my instructor. He sees the pleading look in my eyes and passes me one swiftly. ‘Do I get a parachute too?’ I enquire, my chuckle betraying the basic, fundamental truth that I bloody loathe heights. And so I begin my class at O’le’s climbing wall with a lump in my throat and a jitter in my knees.
Classes here are pretty much geared towards the individual: you hire the wall and the instructor for however long you want, and they will teach you the basics, go over safety equipment and attempt to bolster flailing confidence when and wherever they see it.
Having squeezed myself into some skin-tight climbing shoes and clambered into the rather crotch-unfriendly harness (the male camel toe is not an attractive sight!), we hit the wall, at first without a rope. The basics are simple: I soon absorb details on how to switch hands (try not to cross them over, I’m told), keep my body close to the wall and position my toes. At first, I don’t go that high, especially without the safety of the rope, but it is fun. At my coach’s behest, I rope up and climb a little higher, feeling the sting in my fingers as I grip the wall. Beginners should always have a go on the rope in their first session, he says, and in truth, it isn’t so terrifying. All the same, I can only go so high. I know my limits, and that’s no bad thing. Gareth Clark
What we learned: Vertigo isn’t just a trippy film with Jimmy Stewart – it exists right here in the Chinese capital!
Classes run 10am-10pm daily. 50RMB per person per day.
DEAL! Mention Time Out to get ten per cent off one-year passes (usually 2,000RMB) from Friday 1-August 31!