Meet the cartoon face of Western intrusion in China: David the big-nosed, womanising spy.
Beijing's latest anti-foreigner poster campaign is a comic that tells the story of a sneaky guy stalking innocent state employees, before goading them for sensitive information and leaving them not only heartbroken but also as traitors to their country.
The poster-based charm offensive, titled Dangerous Romance, was put up all over town to mark the first National Security Education Day on April 15. It may sound like a 50 Shades of Grey follow-up, but it's much, much more painful than that.
We've snapped pictures of the posters and done the heavy translation work so you don't have to. For your reading pleasure, we are glad to present the English translation of Dangerous Romance and its gripping, elegant prose:
David: ‘So dear, what exactly do you do at work?’
Xiao Li: ‘I'm in charge of composing internal references based on the policies of the central authorities.’
David: 'That's great! Please lend me the documents so I can have a look.'
Subtle, David. Very subtle. If you should happen to notice any suspiciously looking foreigners, please do us all a favour and call the Department of National Security at 12339.
Here it is, the full story of...
‘There is a gathering today organised by a foreign friend. Aren't you trying to improve your foreign language skills? Let's go together.’ Xiao Li:
2. David: ‘My name is David and I'm a visiting scholar researching matters concerning China. I am really interested in talking to everyone here.’
3. David: ‘Please introduce yourselves and what you do at work. We can start with this pretty girl.’ Xiao Li : ‘Oh, okay.’
4. Xiao Li: ‘My name is Xiao Li, I've just graduated and passed the test to become a civil servant. I'm working at the Foreign Publicity Department.’
5. After the first meeting, David starts to contact Xiao Li and give her presents. David: ‘You are beautiful, gentle and exceptional. In fact, I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.’
6. Xiao Li thinks to herself: ‘Me with such a handsome, romantic and literary foreign boyfriend. Sounds pretty good!’
7. The two decide to start going out together. David: ‘So dear, what exactly do you do at work?’ Xiao Li: ‘I'm in charge of composing internal references based on the policies of the central authorities.’
8. David: ‘That's great! Please lend me the documents so I can have a look. They would be really useful for writing my academic articles.’ Xiao Li: ‘I can't do that! I have a duty of confidentiality.’
9. David: ‘Dear, do you still have to keep secrets from me? I'm only borrowing them to write my academic articles.’ Xiao Li: ‘Oh, okay then.’
10. Xiao Li: ‘This is my copy, please give it back to me as soon as you're done with it.’ David: ‘Relax, my dear.’
11. Xiao Li: ‘What's going on? David hasn't contacted me recently, and he never answers his phone.’
12. Policeman: ‘Are you Xiao Li? We are from the Department of National Security, please come with us.’ Xiao Li: ‘Huh, what's going on?’
13. Xiao Li: ‘What?’ Policeman: ‘David is an overseas spy in China stealing political and military information. We've apprehended him. Did you provide him with internal reference data?’
14. Xiao Li: ‘I didn't know he was a spy. I've been used.’ Policeman: ‘You are a state employee, yet your ability to keep secrets is concerning. You are suspected of violating our nation's laws.’
H/T: Global News