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The tackiest Halloween costumes on Taobao

Just because you can wear 'em, doesn't mean you should

It's Halloween, the one time of the year where we abandon all thoughts of what's appropriate and celebrate all that's scary, sinister and just plain ridiculous.

Despite quite a few of these numbers committing crimes against all that's decent and tasteful, a bunch of these are also a bit of a laugh. And if you can't look like a total knob during Halloween (see the end of this list), then when can you?

An ultimate creepy pest


For a look with real longevity, why not transform yourselves into a giant cockroach. These fuzzy legs are just a tad bit unsettling, but they can prove to be effective for bugging security guards and bartenders when you go pub-crawling with your mates. 159RMB

'Halloween' Mary Jesus Costumes

mary jesus

Christmas and Halloween collide in these festively confused get-ups. If you're used to people seeing you and shouting 'JESUS CHRIST', then hey, feel free to go with it. 10-79RMB

Alternatively, if you're into the religious theme but want to spice up the appropriate level, check out this sexy 'Virgin Mary' outfit. 240RMB




Let's head to the produce section and check out this pumpkin number. Who said big, round, orange fruit couldn't be sexy? Most people, probably, but seeing as Halloween is occasionally synonymous with 'make anything sexy', we guess we're going with it. 233RMB

I'm a bat, man


If in some alternate universe Bruce Wayne lost his parents' fortune and wandered into a furry party, then this is the costume we imagine the caped crusader would come up with. You're unlikely to be mistaken for a billionaire player-turned vigilante, but at least your head will be warm. 160-238RMB

The Doge


The quintessential Halloween costume for millennials, this costume's for anyone who's ever had the dream of being a walking meme. This one's actually from Tmall, but look how versatile it is! Wear it under a tree, wear it on a bike, wear it for the laziest bank robbery ever. So amaze. Very doge. Much scare. Wow. 60RMB

'Custom' ninja costume


Apparently a unisex costume, this purple ninja costume will be great for anyone wanting to blend into a Beijing crowd, with a handy built-in face mask for polluted days. Ninja's wear bright colours, right? 350RMB

Inflatable princess costume


Be the princess you always wanted to be, be a comforting balloon. Take up space at any party with this beautiful number and make sure everyone knows how pretty in pink you are. 200RMB

Inflatable chicken costume


While we're on the subject of inflatable things, check out this hot chicken. Possibly coming out of an egg, possibly returning to the hell from whence it came, this costume also features completely unnecessary yellow flaps for your feet. 290RMB

Qing Imperial Minister ghost


Pretend to be an ancient imperial minister risen from the grave after President Xi's remarks at the National Party Congress (we really, really recommend you don't actually). While the costume's actual delivery is certainly lacking a bit, we're giving them bonus points for sheer creativity. 65-120RMB

A Dad-bod tummy addition


Show off a beautiful bod (especially if you don't have one) with this fantastic addition to any costume. For even more class this Halloween, make sure to store snacks and beer in your tacky tum. 137RMB

An actual phallus


Forget subtlety, here's a costume that will leave no one questioning. It comes in different colours as well including pink, brown and 'skin', because, diversity. 330RMB

There are hundreds more on Taobao, so get hunting!

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