They've taunted us with their meme-able Chimera constructions
and oh-so-close-but-yet-so-far Shanghai branch
, but Taco Bell might soon be setting up shop in Beijing.
Now, please excuse us while we whip out our novelty sombreros and yell something that, just like the Bell's luridly seasoned offerings, tramples all over any notion of Mexican authenticity.
On the 8 January – a day that shall be henceforth known as Doubledilla Day – news broke that Yum Brands (who also operate KFC
and Pizza Hut in the Middle Kingdom) had just announced the expansion of the Taco Bell brand into China, with plans to open an undisclosed number of restaurants across the country
What does that mean for us? That in all likelihood, at least one of those stores will be in Beijing!
So, what can you get from Taco Bell that you can't get from say, Taco Bar
? Oh sweet, innocent reader with currently crystal-clear arteries, all sorts. For a pretty measly amount of RMB, junk food connoisseurs will probably be able to indulge in such delicacies as the Crunchwrap Supreme, the Seven-Layer Burrito, bargain-licious tacos, literal litres of Mountain Dew and even indigestion (two ways: with the cheese sweats and without). You should be the bell of the ball and snarf it all – after all, what better way of looking like a sack of sour cream without your clothes on is there than eating cheap Mexican-ish food?
They're also ramping up their levels of nacho cheese for the Chinese market, so those who like to suck highlighter-yellow slop straight from the cheesy teat can sleep easy. They're also selling chicken and waffles
, for reasons that remain unclear.
At this current and burrito-deprived moment in time, we're unsure of the specifics and timescale of the Taco Bell roll-out, but we'll buy our underwear in a bigger size in anticipation and let you know the millisecond we get news of any developments. #Journalism
Correction: An earlier version of this article stated that 1,000 Taco Bell restaurants were to open in China alone.