We know, we know — you had it all planned out. You were finally going to have an awesome Halloween costume this year, something that would have made you the stuff of urban legends. It’s just, with everything going on, you haven’t had the time to make it happen. And now you’re starting to panic. You’ll never hear the end of it if you show up to the party in that penis costume again.
We feel you. Sexy witches and boring vampires may be a dime a dozen (we had to click through about 20 pages of those), but it’s definitely no easy task finding non-tacky Halloween get-ups. Call us old-fashioned, but we still think that Halloween costumes are best when they’re genuinely frightening.
Here are five last-minute costumes you can order on Taobao (because who has time to go to an actual shop) that just might give your jaded friends a real scare – even if it’s only for a second.
This one’s a classic, but that doesn’t make it any less scary. There’s just something inexplicably unnerving about someone with a face that's... just a bit weird.
We can guess what you're thinking, 'Oh no, not another rubber animal mask.' Just hear us out. There’s something special about this particular one. Can you imagine this guy, lank hair and dead eyes, jumping out at you in the dark? We don’t think we’re the only ones who would scream out loud. Plus, it's great for those working with a budget.
Clowns are terrifying, full stop. Particularly when paired with a sadistic, maniacal cackle and a darkly menacing air. Is there anyone who isn’t scared of clowns? If you need some inspiration on how to act the part, here’s a spine-chilling video of DmPranksProductions’ viral Killer Clown scare prank. Warning: not for the faint of heart. (VPN required.)
This pair is essentially the Chinese version of the Grim Reaper. Unlike the Western kind, though, they represent the good and bad sides of human nature. These two always appear together, so they would be perfect for a couple costume. The white one is typically tall and lanky while the black one is short and chubby.
You, too, can become a convincing extra from the Pirates of the Caribbean. No one would ever complain that you’re not scary enough. Just make sure you practice your shuffling, rattling skeleton walk and inhuman screech.
For the ultimate horrifying addition to any costume, dress up your dog (or cat) in this fuzzy spider get-up. Release onto a dark street and watch the mayhem unfold.